Depressed

I want to scream I want to cry I want to run I want to pray I don't know what I want This is how I feel most days, yes I am depressed. Horribly and utterly depressed. I try so hard for my family to keep a smile on my face when I cry myself to sleep at night alone and scared. I am scared, What is happening to me, what is going to happen to my daughter. Is this my fault in where she is at. I don't know but I hurt, I hurt when I read about children or animals dying and I don't know how to deal with this. Yes people would say go to a doctor but I can't. I don't have the money truthfully and no I am not looking for hand outs either. I try to fight this without help but I am afraid I am losing the battle. I just want the pain to go away. I have been carrying it around for years and years and now it is boiling over to the point where I can't control it. Does anyone care? Laura