The Truth

Sometimes facing the truth is the hardest thing anyone can do. Tonight I have come to that and I am not sure how I am feeling. It is not a new truth for me but one that has been coming a long time. My husband hates me and prefers other womem. I have caught him before, many times in fact but always I have tried to work things out for our son. It will not work this time. I can see the hatred in his eyes as well as his words when he speaks to me. I am hoping he will move out without it getting ugly to the point of having the police remove him at the end of the month. It hurts but yet it does not. I think what hurts the most is I feel like I failed once again. This is my second marriage as well as his too. I have no desire to have another marriage or relationship ever and it is okay. I am okay with that. I have a wonderful son to raise and that is the most important thing right now. But it still hurts. I want to scream, throw things, and hurt him as he has hurt me. I know I wont do it but it helps a little to write even if no one is reading this.

My emotions feel like this picture, all over the place and just not normal. I can't get to were I need to be until he leaves and I am afraid he maynot, I want him gone. He is verbally abusing to me and our son with his words. It is easy for me to tell someone what they should do but it is very hard to follow my own advice. I feel the Christmas sprite slowly leaving my soul with his ugliness around me. Broken wings never meant to fly damaged soul hurting tears of shame keep you tied to the ground Broken wings feathers dying all around you withering away becoming the skelton melting into the earth happiness all gone well this is most differently not one of my better poems but it is how I am feeling and trying to express it, letting no cutting the power he thinks he has over me Does anyone care? Laura